Observations from the slopes

After spending a few days in the mountains, there are a few things I feel compelled to point out and analyze, if for no other reason than to document this trip and keep myself entertained.

Observation #1: It takes a whole lotta freaking work to get ready to go skiing. This sport is not for the weak or lazy. Which leads me to ask myself… how am I here?! You will earn 5 gold stars and a full blown cardio level workout by simply putting your gear on and getting to the ski lift. Holy $##^. You will sweat, the altitude will mess w/your heart rate and at some point, some part of your body will go numb from the icy pain. Just getting in and out of my ski boots makes me want to take a short nap.

#2: Falling on the slopes at this age is much more difficult than as a teenager. I crashed pretty hard several times yesterday and each time was harder than the time before. Lifting my tired body back up was no easy feat. I would attempt to launch myself up, my skis would start moving and off I would go.. either on my ass or right back down. I laughed more yesterday than I have in awhile. Because, honestly… what else are you going to do. When I was younger, I remember getting really frustrated about falling. Now, I just laugh. So thanks for that 41… maybe you’re not so bad!

My sweet and oh so helpful husband was super supportive the first 8 times I fell… but by the 9th, he was SO over me. Ha! At one point, I looked at him and he was taking a snack & texting break while I was trying to get up, but really, just sliding around and laughing hysterically. I’m sure he just wanted to distance himself from the crazy, middle aged, flailing Mom. I die…dead.

#3:  Tiny humans with tiny snowboards are adorable. Big snowboarders with big snowboards are not. I secretly wanted to take them all out yesterday… and here’s why. Without fail, every single time I would get into a really good groove yesterday on the mountain, some wildly erratic and cocky snowboarder would whiz up behind me and cut really close to me. Dude… there’s a whole freaking mountain here… scoot the hell over please. GRRR. Not cool guys, not cool. I’m over here trying to shred my own gnar and you’re killing my vibe man. Lol.

#4: Having a cast on your hand sucks and it’s kind dumb and SOOO not bad ass. During what was probably my 7th fall yesterday, I crashed and face planted pretty hard. I immediately knew I hurt my left thumb. There was pain and I couldn’t move it. Some super nice middle aged man in a crazy rooster hat stopped to help me up. Remember, Jeff was down the mountain snacking and texting? 😉 I told the guy… bear with me fella.. I’ve got one gimp hand here. He patiently helped me up and I skied down the rest of the mountain with Jeff, who told me my thumb was fine.. “it’s fine” he said. Insert my eye roll here. After we grabbed lunch, he went on to ski some blues and blacks while I hobbled over to the med clinic at the base of the mountain. I sat there for about 3 hours and watched  countless people get wheeled in and out. Broken wrists, dislocated collar bones, broken shoulders.. you name it. I saw a lot of injuries. Of course the 70 year old man next to me was on his last run of the day when guess what happened…a freakin snowboarder took him out! (shaking my fist)

Every time a new “trauma patient” was wheeled in, I’d sigh, because that meant they were priority and my gimp thumb had to wait longer for an x-ray. Hmph. But I was smart enough to take my phone and a latte and they gave me a warm blanket and a bed, so it could have been worse. It wasn’t the worst way to spend an afternoon in the mountains.

#5: Finally, I have to touch on all the things that are much more challenging with a thumb cast. I can’t even say it with a straight face. Most of my clothes don’t fit over this ridiculous M&M hand I have. My awesome North Face coat which has kept me super warm, no longer fits because I can’t get the left hand thru that arm hole. Putting pants on is also quite a challenge with one good hand. I can use my other fingers on my left hand, which is the only thing keeping me sane. Fortunately, I mostly text with my right hand, so that has been ok. Whew! Crisis averted. However, I usually hold my cell in my left hand and now I can’t.. it slides right out. Showering was different this morning. I had to bag up my left hand and do everything with the right one. Doable, but annoying. But hands hand down, the worst part of the cast experience has been the feeling of complete .. I’m gonna freak out and I wanna rip it off. I’m not usually prone to any type of claustrophobia… so this was an unforeseen little surprise. But I’ll have moments that are nothing short of panic where I swear to you I would saw it off if I had the right tools on hand. I have to keep myself busy to not think about it.. because if I focus on it for long, I’ll bug out. 🙂 #special

#6: When the doctor released me yesterday, he told me I could still ski if I wanted to. Awesome I said! That’s SO great! I can’t believe it! Not. :/  I debated on what I should actually tell Jeff, because let’s be honest.. I could have totally lied and said..”doctor’s orders.. no more skiing.” That would have been beyond plausible. But the truth is, I’m in the mountains and I want the family experience. I want to ski with my kids and create these memories together. I want to fall and laugh and feel alive and take in all of the beauty. So today, I’m getting super creative with my base layers since I won’t have a coat and I’m ditching the poles because I could only hold one and that would be weird… and I’m going back out. And hopefully this time, Jeff will keep me on the green runs and I won’t break anything else.

2 thoughts on “Observations from the slopes

  1. Brittin, this is a piece of fine writing … D and I were howling … though sorry for the thumb … keep the world laughing.


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